Why is quitting one of the hardest things I’ve done professionally?

Two years out of college, I had decided it was time to change jobs (more on that here). And I had landed a position I was really excited about. So I typed up my resignation letter, stealthily swiped it from the communal printer, and sat in my office getting up the nerve to go turn it in to my boss.

Resigning from that first post-college job was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. The end of every previous job had occurred because of some accepted cadence of life … I was moving to college, the summer job was complete, the semester was over. There were expiration dates on all those jobs. This was the first time I was going to intentionally end a work relationship.

I was scared. Although I’m not sure why. I didn’t think my boss would yell at me. But I probably thought he would be disappointed in me. Which was worse.

Was there a right way to do this? A wrong way? Was I burning a bridge? How could I be gracious about my time there while effectively rejecting its future?

Ultimately, I think my resignation letter was probably too long. I don’t remember what it said, but I do recall that it filled a lot of the page. I think I just walked into my boss’s office and handed it to him, and then hovered, unsure of what to do next. He invited me to sit while he read it. Excruciating! Then he graciously accepted it. I left his office shaking and relieved, head spinning about how to wrap up my work there.

I’ve ended many jobs since then. It’s only marginally less excruciating the second, third, fourth time you do it.

And I’ve come to believe that’s OK. When you’ve worked hard, accomplished some things, enjoyed most days, there’s some grief associated with leaving a job. And change is hard. You’re exchanging the known for the unknown.

The very difficulty of leaving a job may just be the thing that validates your time there. But don’t let that ambivalence prevent you from moving on when it’s time.